Saturday, August 1, 2009

Spartanburg's Inner-City Strippers Go On Strike

Tired of not getting paid enough for being objectified by men, strippers at Bob's Strip Club in Una-Saxon/Arcadia took to the streets in protest today. Spectators and photographers gathered at the club, some in support of the girls efforts, and some just to gawk at the scantly clad females.

The short burst of rain earlier didn't hinder onlookers from arriving, apparently it encouraged it, explains longtime dancer Kiki Bottoms. "It was totally fantastic, at first we thought, 'oh no!' but then we realized it was like a spontaneous wet T-shirt contest, everyone loved it!" When asked what exactly it is that she is protesting she said, "Oh, you know, men are such scumbags, and they're really cheap these days. They go on and on about their stupid wives and their stupid jobs, and I'm like, gawd, I don't get paid enough for this."

When I inquired what the owner of the bar thought about it all, dancer Dixie Trix got me up to speed. "Bob was killed by one of his girls a few years ago. I've heard he had it coming though. The sleazebag was shot with his own gun in one of the private rooms. His nephew runs the place now, but he lives in Vegas. I've only seen him a few times, and I've been here almost a year."

I wondered how the daily business was run if the proprietor was gone all the time, but seasoned dancer, Ilene Dover, was kind enough to explain. "We're basically an anarcho-independent collective, on the first and third week of the month we rotate out lead council for minor decisions, but all major decisions must be put to a vote and agreed to by 3/4ths of the bi-weekly trust members." To my reply that it sounded very complicated she was quick to say, "Not really, we just shake our tits and asses and men throw money at us. There really isn't much more to it then that."

I spent a moment talking with Lexxxi Luv, who was holding a sign that read, 'Equality & $$$$' and chanting with the others, 'You gotta pay to play or hell no we won't show!!' When asked what message she was trying to convey she said, "I'm tired of guys who only come in on BYOB night, when it's free admission, and not paying us girls anything. I've been stiffed so many times, it's really a pain in the ass, and we've had enough!"

"It's like a football tailgate party down here today." said spectator, and regular customer Hank Burns. "I called up my buddies from the bowling league, they're coming down when they get off work, bringing a video camera. We're gonna put this on youtube, hell yeah."

One thing's for certain, this is bound to bring business in from all over the county for the girls. In these hard economic times when belts are tight, these girls know how to loosen up a crowd of beer guzzling men and make them forget about their troubles. One of the most entertaining protests this reporter has ever seen, although the reasons are kinda vague, everyone is having a great time.

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